mmmm, consuming culture through consuming food.

It's pretty interesting that I've grown into this belief that food is so closely tied to culture... I think I need to explore:
What do I mean by food?
What do I mean by culture?

Well...when I think of food, my favorite foods, I think of my mother's (and to a lesser degree, my father's) cooking and how it makes me feel. It's a way of affirming who I am, sustenance for the body and the soul. But this is so subjective - to ask what someone else thinks of in the context of favorite foods would certainly get a different response. But, there has to be some greater aspect of it. An objective aspect as well that links all food together.

And culture...that's so loaded. What are my assumptions about culture? hmmm... I feel like, especially in the context of food, there are "connections" I draw that are not real and not necessarily there (and also, are very...one-sided, for lack of a better term). Perhaps to ask someone what a dish's significance (if any) is to them is a more effective and less alienating way to start a conversation than presupposing it has some:
http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/2008/11/associate-asian-people-with-food.html?showComment=1227024300000
I can't demonize that guy, cuz I've been there too...and I know where I got it - from my momma. But, regardless, seeing that conversation makes me realize the ways in which my views have changed over the last few years.
This isn't even about the dish the guys in that post cooked. It's about what those dishes signify - an exotic alternative culture (clearly not something that is part of this culture/society) - and how that acts to establish people as permanently foreign (though these students were, presumably, studying in the US, and held citizenship in other countries, that is irrelevant). I'm losing track, as I started this post almost a month ago and just came back to this point now.... Just a bit of a check in on my progress and an attempt to work out some thoughts.

I guess what I really wanted to investigate was what makes certain things unique and special to me, and what gives me a right to that. I am constantly conflicted about what I could/should enjoy, claim ownership of, etc. For example...one of my favorite dishes that my mom makes is chiles rellenos. It is so rare that someone actually develops their own recipe, and, also, what makes food so great is the sense of tradition that comes along with it. But my mom just got that recipe, as with many others, from books. She does not have a good hold of it, she has to read it off the recipe sheet when she makes it. But she has that relationship to other dishes as well, and ones that are from our own family, like my great aunt's Swedish rye bread recipe. This also brings in discussion of authenticity...like, what source does she have for her chiles rellenos recipe? What if it's some coopted, butchered version? By a white United Statesean? Or what if it's a "butchered" version by a Mexican American? I'm so confused by this, and I know there have been so many things written about it. I don't have time right now to get into that though.

Kitchens hold a special place in my heart - especially the two that I currently inhabit (during different times of the year). I have grown up in the same house my whole life, this house in Champaign, on Hill Street. And in this kitchen are so many memories. Not only dishes made, but lessons learned, stories told, family made. It's amazing. And that has started at our house on Ashland, as well. I get great satisfaction from cooking with my mother and my housemates, and I feel like it's a great way for us to communicate and build community. What better way to look at praxis in my own life - here are way's I've been engaging in it, and also in this sort of community building that I aspire to so much. Here are dishes I make, or of my family, what are yours? We communicate through food, through stories, and that is our coalition forming action. I feel so much closer to both my mother and my housemates through our kitchen experiences. And it doesn't have to be this sharing method, either, there is potential to take risks together and learn things as a team, which also build stronger bonds. Like experimenting with Monna and making some delicious ass corn. That was wonderful.
I suppose at issue here, for me, is that I am worried of the politics of ownership and authenticity ruining the wonderful relationship I have with kitchens, food, cooking, and all that plays out therein when working with other people. Maybe this is a sense of entitlement I have...which is something I always wonder, or maybe it's just the case that my self-decpreciating mentality sometimes spills into every aspect of my life. :(
Anyay, I'm done for now. The verdict: further reflection necessary.